M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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