You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
