Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
