I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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