I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
