and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
