im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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