We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
