She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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