oh god the rape fog is back!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
