he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
