You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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