WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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