She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i think im in europe. pls send help
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
