i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He keeps bees of course he's weird
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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