apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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