I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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