I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He felt like a one man threesome
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
