Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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