Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
