Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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