I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
