he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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