She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
