How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
