This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
