I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
