So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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