I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
