You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
