who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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