is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
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Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
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I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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