I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
