He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
