You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
