Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize