i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
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We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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