All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
