Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
