OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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