Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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