I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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