Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize