she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
