i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
