This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
