Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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