i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
