Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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