Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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