Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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