I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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