I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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