Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
