Please, let me fuck your mom
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
