afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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