Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
