im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
