Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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