So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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