I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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