Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
