ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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