Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
